Doing it like Ranma and Akane
by obsidians
Summary: Role playing is so much fun! Lemon warning. Adding more to include the entire gang the ones I like at least
1. Blackmailer Caught with Pants Down

I don't own Ranma or Akane, I just rent them once in while. It's cheaper to rent them during the weekdays.

Ranma and Akane were on their way to school when Akane realized that she had forgotten her lunch and ducked back to get it. "You could have just bought lunch" Ranma said as she opened the door.

"It'll just take a second" Akane said walking into the kitchen to retrieve the bento box. The place was quiet for once as the Kasumi had a doctor's appointment and the two fathers were out on a training trip.

"Come on 'Kane, I don't want detention" Ranma complained.

"Okay I got it" she said in amusement, thinking it rather cute that he was impatient to get to school.

Ranma thought he heard a noise and froze "Akane did you hear that?" he questioned.

"No what are you talking about?" Akane said and jumped when Nabiki came around the corner wearing a short, dark blue wig and her school uniform.

"What the hell?" Ranma said. "Nabi...mph?" Ranma said when Akane clapped a hand over his mouth, intrigued by her sister's odd behaviour.

"I want to see what's going on" she whispered to him.

Both teens peered curiously around the corner and Ranma's jaw dropped when Nabiki said "save me Ranma" in exact imitation of Akane's voice and dramatically pressed the back of her hand to her forehead.

Ranma prepared to go to her aid when a voice rang out "I'm here ta save you Akane," both teens peered around the corner and their jaws dropped. There stood Kuno in Ranma's favourite outfit of red Chinese shirt, black pants, a black belt and black gauntlets...with a clipon braid stuck to the back of his head. They exchanged glances.

"Oh Ranma you're my hero" Nabiki said clasping her hands before her and fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"I'll always be here for you Akane, because I'm Ranma" Kuno announced, putting his hands on his hips and flexing his chest muscles.

"Oh Ranma you're so strong and brave" Nabiki cooed, pretending to swoon.

"Now what are you in need of rescuing from?" Kuno purred catching her easily around her slim waist and dipping her back.

"I need you to rescue me from my loneliness, make a woman of me Ranma" she sighed and lowered her eyelids to half mast to peer seductively beneath them at him.

"Of course I can provide that for you my delicate flower" he said and lifted her up to kiss her. Nabiki wrapped her long legs around his waist and kissed him back while a maidenly blush painted her upper cheeks. He lowered her down and undid her jumper, it fell to the floor. She wore nothing underneath it. With flirtatious look back, she climbed onto the coffee table and wiggled her hips suggestively.

"Akane we should try and get out of here" Ranma whispered to her urgently, they were both disturbed by the scene and their cheeks were glowing red as Nabiki practically ripped off Kuno's shirt and clawed his pants down. What disturbed them further was that he wore a pair of Ranma's distinctive orange and blue box shorts.

"How? They'll hear us" she whispered back.

"Don't you want to taste me before plunging your giant cock into me Dummy?" Nabiki purred.

"Of course my uncute tomboy" Kuno said and walked behind her, he leaned over to eat her. "Oh Akane your delicate womanhood tastes of sweet ambrosia" he sighed as his tongue delved deeply into her silken coose.

"Dummy?" Ranma mouthed at Akane. "Uncute tomboy?" she mouthed back. Both moved their heads inside the kitchen so they wouldn't see what was going on in the living room.

"Oh gods Ranma is that the new technique that you've been working on 'the lash of a thousand tongues of the martial arts school of anything goes'?" Nabiki cried out in passion.

"Yes Akane, I developed it just for you" Kuno said with lust in his voice.

"Ranma, I'm going to cum" Nabiki's panting voice cried.

"Cum for me Akane, I won't miss a single sweet drop" he said.

Nabiki cried out and Kuno went into clean up mode while the two teenagers hid in the kitchen with glowing faces and their hands clamped over their ears.

"Lie on the couch so that you might claim my maidenhead, I wish to ride my wild horse" Nabiki purred with lust.

Quick as a wink 'Ranma' was on his back on the couch"your stallion awaits" he said, with an impatient squeal she climbed on board and rode him loudly and enthusiastically. Akane's head was buried in Ranma's chest in terror at this point, while both tried pointlessly to stick their fingers in their ears to drown out the sounds of the young couple getting off.

Especially when Kuno yelled out "take it Akane, are you enjoying my technique of the ten thousand torpedoes?"

"Yes baka give me more" Nabiki shrieked at the top of her lungs." Oh yes, fuck me raw, you really are the most powerful martial artist in the world!" she cried and came with a squeal.

"Akane my love I to am close, take all that I have to give you" Kuno yelled almost as loud as her and bellowed as he came.

"It's okay Akane" Ranma whispered to the girl who was so overwhelmed at witnessing the scene that she was almost hysterical.

Nabiki laughed in a sexually satisfied way "Kuno Baby, I don't know what I'd do without our weekday screws, good thing we both have our first periods free every Tuesday" she said and stood up and stretched.

Kuno admired his view of Nabiki with her slender back and shapely rear "yes it's gotten even better since you invented the game" he said.

"If Ranma and Akane only knew what they were missing" she said smirking at him.

"Well, I guess we'd better get ready for school, I'll put the clothes back in Ranma's room" Kuno said.

"No problem Kuno Baby Nabiki" she said as she gathered up her clothes and headed for her room happily humming.

Akane and Ranma snuck out as silently as they could and closed the door softly after them. "Ranma what was that?" Akane demanded with goggled eyes.

Ranma turned to her with eyes just as shocked as hers "I don't know what you're talking about" he said.

"That scene back there" she said.

"It never happened" he said sharply.

"But..." Akane protested.

"It never happened" Ranma repeated, sickened at what he had just witnessed. "Would you tell anyone about that?" he inquired.

Akane turned pale "you're right, it never happened" she concluded.

"Good, remind me to burn my clothes tonight when we get home" Ranma said with a visible shudder.


	2. Chef's Love to Pork

Before you complain, blame VizeerLord for putting this flea in my ear. I'm just liking the tongue and cheek aspect of this and have toned down my normal graphic lemons to match.

Game on.

Sid

A/N at an end

After what they'd witnessed, Ranma and Akane did the unthinkable and skipped school. They wandered around the streets of Nerima talking about matters inconsequential. They avoided looking at each because when they did, they both blushed at remembering their up close and personal unwanted 'sex education lesson'. They were both rather frightened about the idea of returning home in case Nabiki and Kuno decided to go for round two.

"Man I'm starving" Ranma complained when his belly growled.

"We just had our lunches in the park a few hours ago; it'll be dinner time soon. Kasumi should be home by then and it will be safe to return home" she said blushing.

"Akane I'm a growing boy, I need food" Ranma said.

"You're a bottomless pit is what you are" Akane countered.

"Stop picking on me, you're so uncute" Ranma said in exasperation.

"Say what you want, you're still a bottomless pit baka" Akane said and stuck her tongue out at him. He returned her grin and his anger melted; he could never resist her when she gave him THAT smile. They were walking by Ucchan's when Ranma noticed that the lights were on.

"Alright, Ukyou's restaurant is open, we can get okonomiyaki!" Ranma cried happily.

"Always thinking with your stomach" Akane said, but followed him inside. They both stopped short at the wreckage of the restaurant with the tables and chairs upended everywhere.

"What happened here?" Ranma whispered so as not to alert anyone who might be a threat to Akane.

He started forward when he heard Ukyou sob, she clutched to her a torn Furinkan High School girl's uniform that bared one perky breast completely and there was a large rent in her skirt that showed a snowy white lace petticoat. She walked through the wreckage of her restaurant...wearing a short, dark blue wig" Akane spotted this and managed to pull Ranma back, they ducked behind an upturned table. There was something about this scene that was so familiar to Akane. Another quick glance around the restaurant showed that other then the tables and chairs resting on their sides, there was no other damage, as if the scene had been staged.

"Akane what are you doing?" Ranma whispered as soon as she took her hand from his mouth.

"I have a bad feeling about this" Akane whispered back.

Ukyou raised her head and said in a grateful voice "Ranma you saved me from those wicked men. They wanted to take from me something that is the most precious thing to a girl" She frowned "Ranma where are you?" she called.

"I'm in your kitchen, it's really small. Where do you hide your fridge and stove in a place this small?" a familiar voice called.

She wrinkled her nose, "Ranma, you're in the living room closet, open the door and follow the sound of my voice" she said with an edge in her voice.

"Oh sorry, start again" someone urged.

"Ranma you saved my virtue from those dastardly men. How can I ever repay you?" she wailed.

Akane and Ranma's jaws dropped when Ryoga came in wearing the same red shirt, black pants, belt and gauntlets that Ranma had on...and that Kuno had been wearing earlier. At the back of his head a clipon braid had been added to his own raven hair that suited him rather well. Akane was even more shocked at how much Ryoga resembled Ranma physically.

"What the hell! Not again" Ranma mouthed at her. Akane's eyes went the size of marbles, she was rendered speechless. They seemed to be having a blushing contest and Akane was winning.

Ryoga rushed forward and hugged a nearly hysterical acting Ukyou to him; he seemed to glare at invisible opponents. "I will always come for you Akane" he announced to the sobbing girl who clung to him like a lifeline.

She leaned back and her eyes shone "they tried to force me, but I couldn't do...that with anyone but my fiancé. Oh Ranma, the horrid things they were suggesting, please take these memories from me" she pleaded with her chest heaving, drawing attention to her fully exposed breast.

"Oh Akane I would never let anyone make love to you but me" Ryoga snarled in a convincing imitation of Ranma's voice when he gets fired up.

"Oh Ranma I feel so safe with you" Ukyou said. "Kiss me" she said and tilted her head back, closed her eyes and slightly parted her lips. Ranma blinked in surprised when the lights around the couple turned pink and flowers floated around them. 'Is that violin music?' Ranma questioned.

Ryoga closed the distance between them and kissed her as the music soared and reached its pinnacle and fireworks shot off inside the dark interior of Ucchan's. He leaned back and stared at 'Akane'. "Those fiends, they destroyed your uniform. Can you fix it?" he asked her tenderly.

Ukyou looked demurely at the floor "no it's beyond repair" she answered.

"In that case, allow me to help you dispose of it" Ryoga said and tore it from her. Ukyou gasped in surprise to find herself suddenly naked and in his arms. "Please Akane would you taste me before I take your innocence?" he implored her.

"Of course Ranma" Ukyou said sinking to her knees.

Akane wondered if she was about to pray catholic-style as they did in some occidental movies, she couldn't fathom what else Ukyou could possibly be doing on her knees. She was about to whisper her question to Ranma; his nosebleed told her that he'd figured out what was happening, when Ryoga lowered his pants so his thing tapped Ukyou's nose. Akane almost puked when Ukyou took the fleshy cylinder in her mouth and started sucking it, Akane shut her eyes and plugged her ears to Ryoga's "oh yeah Akane, that's it."

Finally he pulled Ukyou to her feet "please, I need to be inside you" he cried.

"Of course Ranma", she said and leaned against the only upright table, both sighed as his manroot slid into her from behind. This 'Ranma' removed his pants but kept his shirt on.

Ryoga fucked her deeply and slowly while he played with Ukyou's sensitive dangling breasts and the hot button between her legs, until she arched herself into him like a cat in heat. He started pounding into her more forcefully until each thrust caused the table to inch forward. "Say you'll marry me Akane" he panted brokenly as he clutched onto her slim hips.

Akane recoiled at the noise of the table screeching and bodies slapping, she buried her head into Ranma's shoulder and clutched his sleeve at the same time as she tried to jam her fingers into her ears. Ranma's own eyes were squeezed tightly shut against the disturbing scene, but his fingers in his ears failed to drown out the sounds of his two oldest friends humping.

"O-of course, it wasn't our fathers that brought us together, but fate" she cried when she orgasmed.

"A-akane you're really my cute fiancée" he said with a hiss to indicate that he was getting close.

"Oh Ranma marry me tomorrow and give up all the rest of your fiancées" Ukyou practically screamed.

"YES AKANE, YOU'RE MINE" Ryoga shouted as he hammered into her once more and shot deep inside Ukyou. They both panted for a few seconds and then separated.

"Wow that was intense" Ryoga said taking the fake braid from his hair.

"It just keeps on getting better and better" the naked chef purred, pulling off her wig to allow her own luxurious hair to spill down her shoulders.

"I must say that I'm glad I was able to find my way here in time" Ryoga commented.

"The feeling's mutual, better then the last time when I had to wait two week" she said batting him playfully with her wig. "I needed that" she said giving him a beatific smiled.

"Me too" he said returning it. "Now what?" he asked.

"We get cleaned up, you help me put the restaurant back in order and come find me in another week" she said. "Come on its time to hit the showers" she said walking towards the stairs with a swing in her hips. Ryoga had one look at her delectable bottom and bolted after her, glad about the game that Kuno had admitted he was playing with Nabiki after a few belts of sake one night. Ryoga was even happier that Ukyou had been 'game' when he shyly suggested it to her.

Ranma and Akane quickly crawled in the direction of the door and carefully closed it after themselves.

Ukyou turned at the top of the stair when she thought she heard the front door of her restaurant open "Ryoga, you did lock the door after yourself right?" she questioned him.

A blushing Akane and Ranma trudged in the direction of their home "Ranma..." she began.

He lifted up his finger and refused to look at her "no..." he said.

"But I..." Akane protested.

"I-don't-want-ta-talk-about-it" he enunciated carefully in a grumpy voice.

"Nothing happened?" she asked.

"Exactly" he snarled.

"Now what? We still have to kill some time before Kasumi gets home" Akane said.

"Let's go to the Nekohanten for ramen and forget that whole thing" Ranma said through clenched teeth. "Which never happened in the first place" he added.


	3. Amazons Like it Crazy

Akane and Ranma were surprised to find that the Nekohanten seemed to be closed, so they tried the front door to the apartment out of concern that something tragic had happened to their friends. It wasn't like them to close their restaurant. The door was open so they let themselves in. Akane and Ranma ascended the stairs and prepared to shout to the occupants of the apartment to announce their presence when they noticed something eerie. There was another red and black clad martial artist sitting in the dining room, which was apparent from the doorway. This 'Ranma' wasn't dressed exactly the same as others...and Ranma himself. His shirt had long sleeves, which were rolled back to his forearms, such as Ranma himself normally wore during the colder months, but he still wore the black belt and pants. His braid was the right colour of raven black, but much longer then the original Ranma's. The real Ranma with quick reflexes pushed Akane down and ducked behind a chair, having a sense of déjà vu about this scene. A girl wearing a dark blue wig walked in and set a platter of food in front of him. She didn't wear the Furinkan High School uniform, but had copied to eerie detail an outfit that Akane frequently wore, a bulky yellow sweater (under this she wore a green collared shirt) with matching sock, a red mid-calf length skirt and loafer style shoes. Akane and Ranma's started in surprised when she turned and it was Kodachi; this they hadn't expected. "Ranma I made this for you" she said in a happy voice.

Ranma frowned and looked at the food, even from where they were sitting it looked unappetizing; everything was a uniform colour of green, as if dyed that way. Mousse covered his mouth as if to prevent himself from gagging.

"Thanks I'm not hungry" he replied pushing it away.

"Ranma I spent hours making this for you, you had better eat it!" Akane cried while a vein throbbing in her head, she burnished a mallet at him in a threatening manner.

Ranma covered his mouth to stifle his laughter at the highly accurate reaction to Akane's cooking. Akane glared at him and elbowed him in the stomach. Her face was burning at the insult; she looked wildly around for a way to escape and hoped that their role playing wouldn't turn physical.

"Whoa hold it 'Kane, I'll try it" Mousse protested and with a shaking hand scooped a piece of the unappetizing looking substance with his chopsticks and placed it in his mouth. He immediately looked ill.

"Well Ranma how was it?" Kodachi asked bouncing happily in place.

"I think I'm going to be sick" Mousse groaned.

"Oh are you coming down with something? Let me help you to bed" Kodachi said taking his arm.

Akane was glad that they were leaving to take their games elsewhere; it would give her and Ranma the opportunity to sneak out without witnessing...that again.

"Ranma I brought you too too delicious cooking" said Shampoo as she hopped through the window...wearing a short dark blue wig and a uniform that matched Akane's. "Oh Akane so happy she can make food for you..." she said. "What you doing here Kodachi? Is Shampoo's turn with Ranma!" she cried with her hands on her hips, after setting down the tray of equally toxic looking food.

"What are you talking about you vile harlot? I checked the schedule and it's MY turn with Mousse" Kodachi stated.

Shampoo snorted "only reason why you allowed turn at all is because you blackmailed us when you caught us playing our game and demanded turns. You always want more turns too, Mousse says you could exhaust a mechanical bull" Shampoo said. Mousse just snickered and Kodachi glared at him.

Akane and Ranma's eyes went as wide as marbles at what was being said. They exchanged glances and blushed at the idea.

Mousse looked rather glad that he was being fought over. He'd been a virgin before overhearing what Kuno said to Ryoga and had suggested the idea to Shampoo. She'd gone for it surprisingly enough; he hadn't even minded when Kodachi had insisted on joining. He'd been the first man for both of them.

"Why how dare you say that: you know that I'm a shy maiden" Kodachi declared.

"Perhaps before first time with Mousse, not after. Kodachi knows it was Shampoo's turn to fuck Ranma" Shampoo cried.

Akane silently gasped at the harshness of the language. She'd learned things today that she hadn't known existed, but the idea of sharing someone for this purpose seemed vile. Ranma hugged her in sympathy.

"You dare accuse me of such deception!" Kodachi cried. "I can only imagine what measures you went through to get that uniform."

Shampoo shrugged "great-grandmother buy it for me from uniform shop, she get one for self too. Shampoo not know why" she said.

Mousse cleared his throat "I have a suggestion Akane, er Akanes you know that I am heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes, right?" he said.

"Yes that true" Shampoo said confused.

"I mean as in anything-goes, I'm the best martial in the world after all, I can easily take care of you both" Mousse said in decent intimation of Ranma's way of speaking; if Ranma had a Mandarin accent.

Akane's eyes opened even wider and practically leaped out of their sockets. 'No please' she chanted over and over again like a mantra and Ranma got a nosebleed at the idea. His friends had whispered things about threesomes, but Ranma had always thought that it was the name of a dance or something.

Both 'Akanes' seemed startled by this "but how?" Shampoo asked.

"I don't think that this is a good idea" Kodachi said hesitantly.

"My name is Ranma, that means wild horse and we know that I'm hung like one" Mousse said really getting into the act. "What's the matter tomboy, are you chicken?" he taunted.

"Chicken? I'll show you whose chicken, Ranma" Shampoo cried and reached under her skirt, pulled off her thong and threw them on the floor. "See Akane isn't chicken" she said glaring a challenge at Kodachi.

"Neither is Akane baka" Kodachi said and did the same.

"Well ladies would you like me to show you my techniques, starting with the beast with three backs? Mousse said pushing down his pants to reveal his eager member.

Akane closed her eyes against this and whimpered silently, she prayed they were going to go into another room. Ranma shut his eyes too and found himself wondering if China had any red shirts left.

"Akane's ready" Kodachi said as she expertly stripped without upsetting her wig.

Shampoo let her lace lined jumper fall to the floor and stood there in just her blouse and knee socks. She watched Mousse as she stripped off the rest, but kept on her knee socks, well aware this leant her a look of purity and innocence in counterpoint to her nudity.

Akane kept her eyes closed tightly as Mousse lay on the floor and Kodachi mounted his face while Shampoo impaled herself on him, she'd peeked just long enough to see this. Ranma on the other hand couldn't look away; it was like watching a train wreck, well a sexy one. He was positive that his cheeks were glowing in the dark. He glowed even more when Akane bumped against his hardon and she silently gasped when she realized what it was. She leaned forward slightly and blushed herself. They both jammed their fingers into their ears at their cries of passion. Shampoo was the loudest, she literally sounded like a cat in heat while she rode her Amazonian lover. Kodachi was by no means silent either as she came into his mouth.

Ranma watch in horror and awe as Mousse pleasured first one, then the other girl in various positions, from where he took Shampoo from behind and ate out Kodachi while she sat on the table, to where he placed them side by side and mounted one while he fingered the other. Their cries of pleasure were deeply carnal and Akane silently sobbed while she attempted to ineffectually clamp her ears against them. Ranma was forced to wonder if the Amazon male had taken some sort of pill that allowed him to last so long. "I'm going to cum. Who wants it?" Mousse gasped finally.

"H-here dummy" Shampoo said, he pulled out of Kodachi and buried himself in Shampoo to cum into her as her silken walls gripped him. This caused a final one in Shampoo and she squealed with pleasure.

All three lay panting and then rearranged themselves so that the two wigged Akane heads lay on Mousse's shoulders while his long braid curled around them. "I think I could get used to this" he purred contently.

Shampoo poked him "don't expect this all the time, it only happen once in a while" she admonished him.

"I agree" Kodachi said.

"Did my techniques fail to satisfy you?" Mousse asked.

"Au contraire mon frère. You did satisfy, we just don't want our Ranma getting spoiled" Kodachi said. She stood up and pulled off her wig "Well, I have to go set up my cameras to record for tonight. I was listening to my brother's phone call from Nabiki and she said something about changing the game, she's coming over with a red pigtailed wig. I don't understand what that means, but it could be good for blackmail" she said. Ranma turned pale at the idea, while he exchanged a horrified glance with Akane. Shampoo and Mousse did too, but it was more a glance of amusement.

"Please use shower first" Shampoo offered to Kodachi. "We take one after you"

"Okay", she said picking up her play clothes. She came down a few moments later in her own clothes. She exchanged a deep kiss with Mousse and bade them goodbye.

"Crazy girl gone, now we clean up and open restaurant" Shampoo suggested.

"Yeah, we're lucky that Cologne takes this day off or we could never play our game. I wonder where she goes." Mousse said.

"She plays cards with other elders" Shampoo explained. "Now not worry about great-grandmother, Shampoo needs Ranma to wash her back" she said glomping onto him the way she always did the real Ranma. Mousse visibly brightened when she did this.

"I take it you want my braid to stay in?" he asked.

"Yes makes airen look sexy" she said and drew him in the direction of the onsen. Akane waited until the water started...and Shampoo's moans and silently drew Ranma down the stair, they softly closed the door after them. She turned to him with a question, when he ran into an alleyway and she heard him making puking sounds.

Ranma came out wiping his mouth. "Ranma are you okay?" she asked out of concern.

"I'm fine" he said. "I know of an abandoned shed that we can hang out in until Kasumi gets home. I suggest we go there" Ranma said and started walking decisively in that direction.

"About what happened back there..." Akane said.

"Nothing did" Ranma replied with a blushing face. He learned more about sex today then he ever cared to...and about whom he was going to marry. Certainly not any of the sexually starved tramps he witnessed today. Akane at least seemed to be normal compared to the rest.

"But don't you think that it's odd that everyone's imitating us?" she tried again.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Ranma said with his eye twitching. "This has been a nice, boringly normal day. Right Akane?" Ranma said in a strangled voice.

"Right" Akane replied cautiously, starting to worry about his sanity.


	4. You are Never too Old to Love

Ranma pulled open a door to quite a large shed and moved bunch of old plywood out of the way to reveal a secret closet where he'd concealed some blankets, a kerosene lantern, a camp stove and some tinned food. "Ranma what is this place?" Akane asked.

"It's the place that I come to when I need to get away from it all" he said and held up two cans, "chili or pork and beans?" he asked her.

"Chili" Akane said having a seat on a blanket. She watched silently while Ranma dumped the contents of the can into an enamel pot and turned on the propane. She couldn't help admire how handsome he looked in the dim light as it played along his boyish features. She found herself feeling uncharacteristically aroused. She blushed at the throbbing between her legs, this only ever occurred late at night in her bedroom when the thought about her wedding night with Ranma. But until today her mind had only ever known about the kissing and wasn't positive what happened after that occurred.

Ranma was aware of her scrutiny and couldn't help thinking about what he'd seen that day, he'd thrown up because he'd been overwhelmed by what he'd seen. His worries that he would never be quite so adequate with a girl as his friends had been had got the best of him. But still he was the _real _Ranma Saotome; he was the best martial artist and should be able to be the best lover in the world. He thought about it, all these people so wanted to be with him that they were willing to settle for a facsimile of him, yet he'd never made love in life. He knew so little about talking to a woman; let alone how to make love to one. It bothered him that his half crazed enemies were getting laid on his behalf. He stole a glance at Akane and wondered how the sight of so much naked flesh on display had affected the normally prudish girl. He tried to picture her naked with her toned muscled flesh completely revealed, with her upstanding breasts and dark blue pubic triangle...he blushed at where his thoughts were going. "I hope you don't mind eating out of the pot, I don't any bowls here, only a couple of spoons" he said

Akane moved closer "I don't mind in the least" she said giving him _that _smile again. She was so close that he could smell the scent of some sort of lilac soap and feel her body warmth as her arm pressed again his. Ranma glanced at her and blushed, imagining how soft her hair was when he accidently brushed against her and wonder what it would feel like to kiss her when he remembered it. "Akane?" he said.

"Yes Ranma? " Akane said and then his mouth was plastered to hers with need. Akane gasped and Ranma took this invitation to explore the moist depths of her velvety cheeks. Akane was surprised at receiving her first real kissed, it thrilled and intoxicated her. Ranma pressed her back and then he lost his fear as his sexually overloaded brain took over and he reached inside Akane's jumper to massage her fleshy globes. She gasped as his thumbs flicked her nipples through her flimsy bra and her sexually repressed mind opened way up to give in to unfamiliar desires. She didn't protest as Ranma's questing fingers reached up her jumper to rub the top of her overheated slit until her clit caught on fire. She shamelessly wrapped her hand around his veined column that she had accidently brushed against earlier, she reveled in how it was throbbing in her hand. She moaned when Ranma hand slipped inside her panties to stroke her soft nest of curls... then the door opened. Ranma and Akane straighten themselves with blushing cheeks and Ranma closed the door so that he could see through a slit in it, without drawing attention to himself by slamming it shut. His eyes grew wide to see who entered the shed. He groaned when Happosai wore a red and black outfit like Ranma's and had a full black wig on with a pigtail. Cologne wore a Furinkan High School girl's uniform with a short dark blue wig and a flowered bonnet for some odd reason. With their aged faces and bodies both looked rather foolish. "Come in here Akane-chan" Happosai said cradling the sweet, young 'Akane' in his arms.

"Oh Ranma, I feel so safe when you're around" the ancient Amazon simpered and fluttered her eyelashes at him. Akane shuddered at this.

"Akane you are safe, I am the heir to the Saotome School" Happosai said setting her down and flexing what little remained of his muscles.

"Oh Ranma, you're so strong and brave" Cologne said stroking the wizen monkey man's powerful chest.

"Ranma let's get out of here" Akane pleaded silently with him; she would have truly have sold her soul to go to the fiery depths at hell right then, rather then face what she suspected was about to happen.

"Be brave Akane" Ranma whispered back and pulled the shivering girl into his arms.

"Akane its such a shame how that uniform hides your beauty" Happosai declared.

"Does it displease you Ranma? Perhaps you can remove it so that you might better see my panties?" Cologne suggested, lowering her eyes and allowing a convincing maidenly blush to paint her cheeks. "But first kiss me" she said pursuing her lips.

Ranma almost hurled again when Happosai latched himself onto hers and both flapping, toothless lips crashed together. Akane could tell when he slipped his tongue into Cologne's mouth when she saw it poke her cheek from the inside, suddenly Akane felt queasy.

"It would be an honour to undress a sweet innocent girl like yourself" Happosai announced and with the skill born of being the grandmaster of his school, undressed his companion in seconds.

"Oh Ranma, do you like my panties?" Cologne asked.

Ranma glanced and then looked away at the heartbreakingly adorable apple green lace panties and bra on Cologne's wizen body. They hugged her rather shapeless curves and her breasts and bum failed to be supported by either. She still wore her bonnet with trailing pink ribbons.

"Oh my dear Akane, you are more perfect then I ever thought" Happosai raved. This brought a soft chuckle from Ranma.

"Oh darling Ranma, please let me see your powerfully muscled body" Cologne cried, Akane thought she was going to be ill when she noticed the bulge in Happosai's pants.

"Oh course anything for my fiancée" Happosai declared and whipped off his clothes. Ranma couldn't look away from the short, stubby body wearing a black thong if he tried.

"You're perfect" Cologne sighed and they kissed again.

"Don't watch Akane" Ranma whispered, but she couldn't look anymore then he could.

Happosai undid her bra and eased it from her body. He pulled out a blanket and laid it the floor. "I have a surprise for you, I brought sweets for the sweet" he said and held up a bear shaped jar of honey. Akane and Ranma exchanged glances at this, Kasumi didn't like how the lid on top fit and always put a distinctive piece of her favourite pink saran wrap under it. This is how they knew that this particular jar of honey had been pilfered from the Tendo residence.

"What's he planning to do with that?" Akane whispered to Ranma, her jaw dropped when Happosai upended the honey jar so that some fell onto the nipple of one droopy breast. Ranma physically had to clamp his hand over his mouth when Happosai bowed his head and licked it off enthusiastically. He looked away when he did it to the other one.

"Now for those panties so I can really taste your sweet honey pot" Happosai declared, giving her what he probably thought was a sexy smile, which only made him look more insane.

Ranma couldn't help watching while Happosai upended the honey jar and the golden liquid flowed down from the spout and into Cologne's vagina. Ranma was highly grateful that her own upraised leg cut off his view of her genitalia, but that didn't prevent them from hearing the happy slurping sounds coming from Happosai or confirming that Shampoo took after Cologne in the noise department. Ranma forced himself to concentrate on the pink ribbons on her bonnet; they flowed down sweetly and distracted him from the horror that was unfolding in front of him.

Cologne got off loudly and apparently, powerfully and said, "It's my turn to taste your sweetness Ranma" she said. She got on her knees pulled down Happosai's black thong; Akane shuddered and was glad that Cologne's head blocked any view of his junk; all they could see was the Amazon's super long white hair. Ranma tried to focus on the trailing ribbons again while her she upended the honey jar onto Happosai and her head bobbed merrily to the accompaniment of deep, toothless slurps and Happosai's happy moans. Both Akane and Ranma clung to each other in terror when he roared to announce that he came.

He pulled her to her feet "Akane that was divine. I want to share the next orgasm with you and thanks to Viagra, I can" he said indicating to where he was still hard. Neither teenaged dared ventured a look when he said this. "Now how do you wish for me to deflower you?" he asked Cologne tenderly.

Cologne opened her eyes wide in mock nervousness "I want to get on top of me. Please be gentle with me, it's my first time" she said and bit her bottom lip adorably.

"Of course my sweet" Happosai said pushing her back and climbing to top of her. Ranma and Akane tried in vain again to hold back the sounds of still athletic senior citizen's bodies slapping, while Happosai's flabby buttocks flapped on top of Cologne while she encouraged him by saying "yeah right there, oh Ranma and please make me cum." It seemed to go on forever and both teenagers were noticeably green in the gills when Happosai gave one final thrust and came with a grunt.

Neither Akane nor Ranma watched when they separated and shared hits off Happosai's pipe.

"The good stuff" Cologne said in approval at the quality of his hash.

"Nothing but the best for my girl" he said fondly. "What's it been, about two hundred and eighty years?"

"About that and you get more charming with each year" Cologne said.

"I always did have a weakness for Chinese food" Happosai said.

"Baka" she said affectionately.

"Uncute tomboy" he replied.

"It got even better when we got to know Ranma and Akane, but it was hot between us" Cologne said.

"And just keeps on getting better" Happosai agreed.

"Well, I've to go make sure that Shampoo and Mousse haven't set the restaurant on fire. They think that I'm playing cards at the Chinese senior citizen's center" she explained and pulled out her regular clothes out of her pack, got dressed and tucked her play clothes in there.

"No problem I understand, you have to keep your eyes on youngsters or they get up to no good" Happosai agreed.

"Please it's Shampoo and Mousse, he might as well be her annoying brother for all she cares" Cologne said and kissed Happosai goodbye and departed.

Happosia himself got dressed at his leisure and picked up the jar of honey. "Better get this back to Kasumi" he said out loud and walked away with a satisfied spring in his step.

Akane clawed the door open after him and this time it was her who threw up when she thought about how many times she'd used Kasumi's honey in tea, on desserts or on sandwiches. She vowed never to eat honey again.

"You okay?" Ranma asked her, his eyes wide at the horrors of the day.

"I don't want to talk about it" Akane said with a glare, of all the exhibitionistic displays she'd seen that day, this one was by far the worst. "Let's just go pick up Kasumi at Dr. Tofu's clinic and go home" she said with finality in her voice.


	5. Doctors Make Desperate Housewives

Ranma and Akane climbed through the window of the clinic after finding the door closed. They remarked that that was a little odd as they distinctly remembered that Kasumi had told them that she was having her back looked at. Apparently she was top heavy; neither Akane nor Ranma had understood what she'd meant by that. Afterwards she said that she was remaining there to help Dr. Tofu with straightening the clinic and doing some filing. Akane had shuddered at idea of what the clinic would look like after a love besotted Dr. Tofu got through with it.

They walked into the main entranceway and stopped dead when Dr. Tofu stood there wearing a Furinkan high school uniform, with false breasts...and a short blue wig. "Ranma where are you?" he said in high falsetto voice.

Ranma himself was about to reflexively answer when Akane caught his arm and drew him into an empty office so that they were crouched behind the door. "Not again" Ranma mouthed at Akane. Akane just rolled her eyes. "Wait if he's Akane then who's..." Akane whispered until Kasumi came into the main waiting area.

"Yo whatcha want 'Kane" she said in a gruff sounding voice. Both Ranma and Akane jaws hit the floor to see the gentle Kasumi wearing Ranma's clothes. Ranma knew for fact where she had gotten this outfit, out of his closet. The red shirt was large on her small frame and the belt nipped it into her small waist, the pants were a little large on her, but looked alluring with her long legs. Her soft light brown hair had been braided into a pigtail. She was the cutest Ranma yet besides the real one.

Dr. Tofu clasped his hands in front of him "oh Ranma I was looking everywhere for you. I'm so worried when you're not around to protect me from all the perverts who are after me" he said and fluttered his eyelashes at her.

Kasumi placed her arm around the larger 'Akane' "I'll always be here to protect you from those creeps" she said in decent imitation of Ranma's own way of speaking.

Ranma and Akane couldn't help but notice that despite the bizarreness of the situation, Dr. Tofu was able to act rather rationally around Kasumi...as rational as he could be dressed as a girl and pretending to be Akane.

"Oh Ranma you're so brave and handsome" Dr. Tofu simpered and blushed. "I didn't mean to say that you're handsome" he said, ducking his head in embarrassment.

"Aw you can be cute sometimes" Kasumi said.

"Really? I thought you said I was an unsexy tomboy" Dr. Tofu said with his eyes lowered bashfully.

"I happen to like tomboys" Kasumi said cupping his cheeks and drawing him in for a long, slow sexy kiss.

"You don't think they're going to..." Akane whispered to Ranma.

"Uh huh" he answered blushing like mad.

"Ranma do you love me?" Dr. Tofu asked in his eerily girlish tone of voice.

"Do I need to show that to you again?" Kasumi said in a suggestive tone of voice that was completely out of character for the normally shy girl. She ran her hand down Dr. Tofu's back and cupped his buttocks.

'Akane' blushed "oh Ranma you want to do that again?" she said.

"Of course Akane, I know you love it" Kasumi said running her hands up Dr. Tofu's skirt and caressing his crotch. "You're getting so wet for me" she drawled.

Dr. Tofu moaned and a shudder of desire seemed to run through him. "We shouldn't do this until after we're married" he said nervously.

"I can't wait that long, neither can you" Kasumi said taking his hand and placing it on the front of 'his' pants.

Dr. Tofu moaned and started rubbing her there until Kasumi was moaning herself; she pushed her pants down while looking a Dr. Tofu and removed them completely. Ranma noticed the familiar orange and blue boxer shorts and wondered how many people had been inside his underwear.

"I wonder if she's wearing a strapon" he whispered to Akane, remembering a device that Ukyou had said that she used to wear to attend her all boys school.

"What's that?" Akane asked utterly clueless, she was ashamed to see her sister acting so slutty.

"It's a fake...never mind" Ranma whispered back.

Kasumi removed her boxer shorts and Ranma blew a sigh of relief to see only her nest of medium brown curls.

"Oh Ranma you're so huge" Dr. Tofu said clapping his hands with joy. Even Akane had to stifle a laugh at what this Ranma clearly didn't have between his legs. Ranma's face glowed at this.

"Taste me Akane" Kasumi said having a seat on a chair and quick as a wink, Dr. Tofu was between her legs. Kasumi moans filled the room as Dr. Tofu's talented tongue happily danced between her glistening pussy lips. Both teenagers clamped their hands to their heads against Kasumi's passionate cries, but Ranma could feel himself hardening.

"Oh Ranma would you taste me now?" Dr. Tofu said after Kasumi came hard on his tongue.

"Of course Akane" Kasumi said and lifted up his skirt, Ranma managed to stifle a giggle to see Dr. Tofu's swollen member jutting out of a pair of orange polka dotted panties that he'd remembered accidently seeing on Akane one time. Akane blanched at the sight and decided it was time to buy new underwear...and burn her old ones.

"Look at how wet you are" Kasumi said and got on her knees to take his length into her mouth. Ranma could only gap as she enthusiastically sucked on him like he was a lollypop. Ranma blushed at how sexy Kasumi looked while she bent over with her full bottom pointed at them and wondered if Akane would enjoy the same activity that her sister clearly did.

"Oh Ranma I need to feel you inside me" Dr. Tofu cried. He lay on his massage table and Kasumi happily clamoured aboard. She groaned out loud as she impaled herself on her lover's length and rode him hard. She liked the silken feeling as his petticoats brushed her bare legs. The table started shifting under them and the blushing Ranma and Akane wondered if it would break. Kasumi's pigtail tapped her butt as she gyrated heavily on top of Dr. Tofu and emitted guttural moans. Dr. Tofu in keeping with his character was moaning high and girlishly. They came together with like a clap of thunder that probably could be heard all over the neighbourhood and both laughed at completion.

"That was intense Tofie" Kasumi said panting.

"As perfect as you Kassy" Dr. Tofu agreed.

Ranma and Akane wrinkled their noses in disgust at these nicknames.

"You make a wonderful Akane" Kasumi said.

"I couldn't be anything else, I'm glad you suggested this, it helped me overcome my craziness around you by you taking the dominate role of Ranma" he said with a chuckle. "You make a great Ranma. When do you have to be home?" he asked her.

"I have to go in a minute, can I take a shower before I leave?" she asked.

"Only if I can join you" he said with a sexy smile and they both went into the onsen.

Akane and Ranma scrambled out of the window blushing like mad. They would never view Kasumi the same way again.

"My gods, my sisters..." Akane said.

"You really want to talk about this?" Ranma asked.

"No" Akane said.

"Then lets just go home" Ranma said.


	6. Ranko and the Bear

Ranma and Akane were walking home when they happened to notice a lineup of people in front of a store, many of whom were their classmates. Curious what was going on, they stopped in front of the store to see the display. "It's them" someone beside them whispered in awe

They blanched when on three wig heads were a black wig with a pigtail, a matching red one and a short dark blue wig, the sign behind them said they were the half price. Ranma and Akane blushed, exchanged looks...and ran home as fast as they could.

They entered the door and stood panting against it. "I think that we might have to move at this rate" Akane observed.

"Perhaps a month long training trip would do?" Ranma suggested.

"I say that we see what's in the fridge, I'm starving" Ranma said taking Akane's hand and leading her there, she smiled when he did this.

"Mr. Panda what big eyes you have" they heard a young sounding female voice saying.

Akane and Ranma instinctively crouched beside the fridge and goggled that the shapely Nodoka was wearing Ranma's clothes and her natural auburn hair was braided into a pigtail. Ranma eyes bugged out of his head when his father in panda form, held up a sign that read, 'all the better to see you with Ranko' waggled his 'eyebrows' at her suggestively and licked his lips.

"What big tongue you have Mr. Panda" Nodoka said with large, innocent seeming eyes.

'All the better to eat you with Ranko' his new sign said and licked his wife's crotch through her pants teasingly.

'Ranko' giggled and then said in her normal voice, "oh no darling, you have to be human for that part, I'm not into beastiality" and dumped a kettle of hot water over her husband's head.

The ex-panda still held his sign stupidly that read 'I thought you loved me in either form?'

"I do darling, you can talk now" Nodoka said hugging her still bearlike husband. "Now what you do want to do to Ranko, do you need to punish her for being a bad girl?" she asked.

Ranma and Akane blanched at this and Ranma looked ill again.

"Yes Ranko's always a bad girl" Genma said with a leer that froze Ranma's blood. He clutched his mouth against a protest as his father pulled his mother over his lap. With a gleam in his eyes, he pulled down her pants and boxer shorts (guess where they got those?) to expose his wife's firm, mature seat as a few wiry red curls peeked out between her legs.

"Oh father you don't have to punish me, I've been good" Nodoka said with large, pleading eyes.

"No you haven't. You've been running around with Ryoga, Kuno and gods knows how many others" Genma said and brought the large palm of his hand crashing down on her ivory hued right buttock to flatten it. He enjoyed how the print of his pain stain sprang up to perfectly match his hand and how firm his wife's curvy rear still was. She cried out, but it wasn't quite a cry of pain.

Ranma blushed at this, did his father truly believe he was seducing the males he knew in female form? Akane almost would have tittered at this if the situation hadn't been so bizarre.

"Oh father I have been so wicked with all those boys" Nodoka cried out. "I promise to be good from now on, ng..." she said as her left buttock fell victim to another hard blow, she'd always loved being spanked by Genma, it made her hot.

"Take your punishment like a daughter of mine should be able to" Genma said and made his blows come sharper and faster until his wife's buttocks were a red as her hair and she was sobbing like a little girl.

"Please stop father" she sobbed. "I'll behave from now on" she cried.

"I guess you need some soothing lotion?" he said looking at her red uniformly red rear.

"Please father" she said.

Ranma felt ill as his father took out a jar of cold cream and massage it into her cheeks much to her relief.

"Oh father, that feels wonderful" she said uncovering a face so like his 'daughter's' complete with adorable pigtail.

"How about this?" he said as he lightly penetrated her pussy lips to rub the seam of her entrance.

"Oh father that feels so good" she cried out and spread her legs wider to give him better access.

"Yes that's it Ranko, no scummy teenaged boy is better than your father" Genma roared. By this point it was Ranma that was cuddled into Akane's arms while she patted his back in sympathy.

Two fingers penetrated her wet hole while another titillated her clitoris. Ranma had to listen as his own mother offer his own father sexual favours, his fingers in his ears failed to drown out the sound of her orgasms.

"Please father, let me make you feel good" she panted.

"Of course Ranko, you're my good little girl" he said and threw her across the table to bury his long abstinate cock in his wife's sweet coose. She clamped down on him like a vice and proceeded to milk him for all that she was worth. He pushed her shirt up and fondled her large breasts to his hearts content while they shared a frantic screw. He was lucky that his wife was fun and kinky as all hell.

"Oh father I'm such a lucky girl" she said with her boobs flying everywhere. Ranma was actually sobbing a bit to see his normally prim and proper mother like this.

"Do you want me to cum on your breasts or inside you?" he said.

"Inside me father" she cried and with a grunt he did.

Nodoka laughed "I seriously don't know what you see in Ranko, but if she's what gets you hot, why not" she said with her eyes glittering with happiness.

"There's just something about her" Genma said.

"Hey I don't mind pretending to be your fake daughter" she agreed. "It's kind of fun to wear my hair in a pigtail at my age"

"I was wondering. This guy Ryoga that you said that she's into, that isn't the same Ryoga Hibiki that Ranma used to know" Nodoka said with a frown.

"One and the same, she met him on a train trip" Genma explained.

Nodoka frowned at this "oh well, I'm sure they're happy" she said.

"Yes because the lucky one because I have you to the play the game with that I heard that idiot Kuno talking about one night" he said.

"No as lucky as me Mr. Panda" she said kissing his nose. "Now you have to let me up, I promised to cook dinner tonight because Kasumi's been detained at Dr. Tofu's clinic."

Genma went to clean up and change while Nodoka slipped off to Ranma's room to put on her kimono and put Ranma's clothes away.

"Ranma are you okay?" Akane asked the catatonic boy.

"That was the worse one yet" he said in a stunned voice. "Some of what we saw today was positively revolting, but that was the worst one yet."

"Are you sure you want to talk about this?" Akane asked dubiously.

"Are we completely surrounded by perverts?" Ranma asked.

"Let's go to the dojo" Akane urged helping him to stand.


	7. Soun's Hot for Teacher

Ranma and Akane opened the door to the dojo and without asking, headed into the supply room and sat down heavily on a mat in stunned silence. "What the hell was that?" Akane asked thinking how Mr. Saotome and Aunt Nodoka were doing that...over the image of Ranma.

"I don't know but do you think it. Do you think Dr. Tofu would agree to remove my eyes and ears?" Ranma said in a dazed tone of voice, and then he thought about Kasumi and Dr. Tofu and added "on second thought, never mind. I think I need to find a new doctor" he said with a shudder.

Akane started thinking along the same lines and vowed it was time to get new friends... ones that weren't horn dogs. "I agree" she said.

The door to the dojo slid open. "Who would come here this time of day?" Akane whispered and glanced at Ranma. Her mouth fell open when her father came in wearing a yellow gi that matched her own with a red belt and a very familiar wig. Beside him was the adult Miss Hinako wearing Ranma's red and black Chinese outfit...and a red wig with a pigtail. Ranma and Akane were momentarily stunned that the juvenile delinquent obsessed teacher was possibly skipping school, then her outfit registered and they had a bad feeling about it, as in a need to get far, far away from their bad feeling.

'Akane' took her stance and tried to sweep the feet out from under, 'Ranma' who cracked a book and jumped over her leg. 'Akane' emitted a growl of frustration and attempted to punch, 'Ranma' which was a blow that 'she' easily dodged without glancing up from her book. This kept up for a while until 'Akane' yelled "why won't you fight me baka!"

Miss Hinako in the role of Ranma put down her book and calmly said "I don't fight girls Akane, you know that"

"But you are a girl right now!" Soun cried and pouted with his fake breasts heaving in anger.

"Just because you're a violent tomboy doesn't make you a boy" Miss Hinako said with a smirk on her face as she stuck her tongue out at him. "Besides Akane, I thought you preferred me as a girl" she said and stroked the fake breasts attached to Soun's chest.

Soun gasped and blushed "Ranma what are you doing?" he gasped.

Akane clapped her hand over hear mouth to muffle her protest at the sick scene unfolding before her. Ranma pulled her against him with his own face glowing.

"Giving you what you want, I know that you don't like perverted boys, you prefer smooth skinned girls" Miss Hinako said and pulled the blushing Soun in for a kiss. With his powerful frame and mustache, this Akane was the most bizarre looking one yet.

"Ng, I'm not a pervert" Soun wailed.

"Yes you are. You like girls like me with huge breasts, tiny waists, a full, proud ass and long legs" Miss Hinako said taking his hands and running them all over her own lush curves. Akane felt ill to see the bulge forming in the front of his gi.

"Oh it simply isn't true" Soun said with a blush.

"Come on, I know that Shampoo has it right when she calls you pervert girl" Miss Hinako said with a smirk that would have done Nabiki proud. "Tell me you don't want to taste these?" she said and opened the frogs on her red shirt to show that she wasn't even wearing Ranma's customary undershirt. At her huge gravity defying breasts Ranma's cock got hard, this accidently poked Akane and she glared at him.

"Ranma how could you be so sick?" Soun cried, but didn't resist when she drew his head forward to suckle on her strawberry tipped nipples. She repressed a sight giggle as his mustache tickled her tender flesh so she didn't break role. It was worth getting a substitute teacher for her class to role play like this with her lover; that he pretended to be his own daughter didn't bother her.

Soun sucked on her nipples with gentle strokes and licks, and then leaned back and blow cool air onto the stiffened peaks, drawing a gasp from Miss Hinako. "I-I think that I liked doing that" he stammered.

"Are you wet Akane?" Miss Hinako asked, pretending that she was touching a pussy when in fact she was stroking a huge schlong.

Soun whimpered and drew himself away from her hand "please don't touch me there" he whimpered.

"I think that you want me to touch you, you want me to strip you naked and eat your sweet pussy" Miss Hinako said with leer, advancing on the fake Akane, who pretended to flinch at her language.

"No I'm not that sort of girl" Soun whined, "that's so dirty" he said backing away when Miss Hinako undid his belt and his gi parted to show one of Akane's bra's, Akane's eyes got wide at this. Ranma almost snickered despite the circumstances when a gym sock fell out of one. Miss Hinako pretended not to notice as she advanced towards Soun and pushed her top off. Soun pretended to cover up his half exposed top when Miss Hinako licked his neck.

"You taste so sweet, I bet you taste even better elsewhere Akane" she purred and started stroking the lump in his gi. "I think that we need to take these off of you" she said and tore his pants from him, he gasped. The real Akane almost puked to see her father half wedged into a pair of her panties as Dr. Tofu had been. "See how much you want me Akane? Your panties are soaked" Miss Hinako said as she touched the pre-cum soaked panties while Soun moaned

"Oh Ranma, please taste me. You're right, I'm a pervert girl" Soun cried Akane got angry at this. Ranma looked at her in sympathy...and then looked for a strapon as Miss Hinako took her clothes off. He actually found himself disappointed when there wasn't one for some strange reason. His eyes narrowed to discover that yet another person had on a pair of his boxer shorts.

"Of course Akane, would you taste me at the same time?" she Miss Hinako asked.

"Of course Ranma, I would love to taste your sweet pussy" Soun said and shoved his lover down onto a waiting futon that they had brought with them. Ranma and Akane winched when they learned what 69 meant. Miss Hinako deep throated Soun to the balls while Soun's tongue explored every inch of her aroused pussy, while he swallowed her free flow of wild honey, until she explored into his mouth.

He managed to hold back his own orgasm and drew himself from her talented mouth reluctantly. "Please Ranma, let me make you cum again" he practically begged. She nodded and he placing her on her side and lifted her leg as he drove his length into her hot snatch. He gasped, she felt like hot steel wrapped around velvet as she clamped down on him. It was only two strokes before the normally sexually frustrated teacher came with gale force and a long wail. Akane and Ranma again tried to clamp their hands over their ears as they met the most vocal pair yet. Akane was rather disgusted to find out that the person who conceived her sounded like a woman when he made love. Now she understood why his voice was so high pitched when he wept.

"Oh Ranma, I'm such a wicked, bad pervert" he panted.

"Oh Akane, I like you this way, you're such a cute tomboy" Miss Hinako cried when he hit her sweet spot repeatedly until she felt herself spiral out of control and was swept away.

"Ranma, I'm commmmmmming" Soun cried and bedewed Miss Hinako's clutching walls, both lovers sighed contentedly while the sweat dried on them.

"I don't know what I'd do without our time spent together" Miss Hinako said pulling off her wig and his own, she lovingly feathered fingers through Soun's long hair.

"Tell me about it, I vote that you and I get the house next time and Genma and Nodoka have to use the dojo" he complained.

"We will" she assured him. "Then we can do this in Akane's bed" she told her amorous lover. Akane couldn't repress a small choking sound at this idea.

"What was that?" Miss Hinako asked.

Ranma slapped a hand over her mouth and his eyes pleaded with her to be silent.

"Did you just make a pussy fart?" Soun teased. Akane almost choked again to hear her father using the word pussy.

"It wasn't me" Miss Hinako giggled and forgot the sound as they got dressed and slipped unnoticed into the house. Akane and Ranma wasted no time and slipped silently up to the roof.

"This has been the worst day of my life" Ranma moaned.

"I never knew these things existed" and equally shellshock Akane agreed. "What are we going to do? We can't simply ignore these sick games now that we know they're going on"

"We could fight fire with fire" Ranma suggested shrewdly.

"How?" Akane asked. Her smile widened when he outlined his plan.

"There you are Ranma and Akane" Kasumi scolded as she leaned out the window to spot them on the roof. "You should come inside, dinners ready"

They were relieved to see that she was dressed normal, along with all the rest and Nodoka had gone home. Nabiki read her stocks, Soun his paper, Kasumi sat beside the rice cooker waiting to serve people and Genma was a panda chewing on bamboo. As for Ranma and Akane, their food smelled delicious and they were sure it tasted great, but their appetites were completely gone. "Is something wrong with my food?" Kasumi questioned.

"No just not very hungry" Akane stammered, she couldn't look at anyone for fear of blushing.

"Same here" Ranma agreed.


	8. Doing it Like all the Rest

This is the conclusion of my amusing little series, hope you enjoyed it.

It took me a while to write as I don't really like doing Ranma/Akane lemons. Weird huh? Guess that's just me.

Sid

Akane and Ranma actually had fun shopping for the supplies that they needed. They had avoided one store when the sign outside boasted that they carried the largest collection of red Chinese shirts with black pants and Furinkan high school uniforms for cosplaying. The mannequins in the window looked eerily like Ranma and Akane, right down to the wigs on their heads. A small, busty one stood next to the male in a matching baggy outfit with a red wig; this made Ranma blush. They'd sent invitations to bring their audience to their performance; a trip to the courthouse completed the last step of what they needed.

"What's going on here?" Kuno asked when he got to the dojo along with Shampoo, Mousse, Kasumi, Ukyou, Ryoga, Dr. Tofu, Kodachi, Soun, Happosia, Cologne, Nabiki, Miss Hinako, Genma and Nodoka.

"I don't know Kuno-Baby, I found one of these shoved under my door" Nabiki said and showed him an invitation that matched his own. 'Drama and Intrigue in Nerima, come see the one and only stage production of The Perverts, this has been a Saotome-Tendo production'

"This is really unusual" Kasumi said studying her own invitation and wondered why the image on the front depicted a giant zucchini with two small cabbages posed at its base.

"Just think our boy and girl are putting on a play together, they will be married in no time Saotome" Soun said slapping his friend on the back and sniffling dramatically.

"It's a happy day" Genma agreed and took a hearty brace of his sake. He was as drunk as a lord and had gotten laid; it was a happy day indeed.

"Those two can be such jackasses" Ukyou whispered to Ryoga.

"Did you buy the redheaded wig at the sale?" he whispered under his breath.

"Just call me Ranko" she said back in the same tone.

"I will" he said with a leer.

The temporary red curtain that Ranma and Akane had erected was pulled aside and they both came out smiling "I'm glad you all could make it, we decided to try a little role-playing as you all seem to enjoy it, based on what we witnessed today" Akane said brightly.

"True Akane, isn't pretending to be someone else so much fun? Nothing like dressing up and playing games" Ranma said with a smirk, they were both amused that everyone in the audience froze and looked uncomfortable at this statement.

"I thought we'd return the favour and have a little fun doing our own role playing, you really inspired us" Akane said. "Call it a little improv with multiple costume changes"

"What the hell is this?" Ukyou demanded.

"Now now you can't rush the actors, the drama has to unfold on its own" Akane said, "now first we present Nabiki and Kuno" she announced and they both hurried off to change while everyone else muttered in confusion. Akane grinned and pretended to slap Ranma when he gave her toned derriere a saucy pinch as she was slipping into a tight top and brief shorts. Both sprang in front of the curtain, Kuno gasped in outrage that Ranma wore a blue kendo uniform and carried a bokken, he'd teased his bangs so that they looked fuller. "I am Tatewaki Kuno the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High School, age seventeen" Ranma thundered.

"And I am Nabiki Tendo, the local scam artist" Akane said imitating Nabiki's slinky way of walking. There were some titters, but not from Kuno or Nabiki. "Oh Kuno-Baby how would you to buy some photos. You know I can't get enough of your huge, hard...wallet" Akane said draping herself around Ranma.

"Sorry Nabiki Tendo, I am not interested in your wares anymore. I'm so lame that I can only get laid if I pretend to be Ranma. Will you be my Akane?" Ranma said clutching her to him.

"Oh course, but it'll cost you" she said with a giggle, Nabiki's face burned at the insult.

"Whatever you desire" Ranma declared and thrust the bokken between his legs so it was like a giant penis "see why I carry this around? My own equipment is so small" Ranma said with a pout. Kuno gasped at this.

"Oh Ranma" Akane said and straddled the wooden practice sword. She pretended to rub herself on it suggestively while Ranma thrust it back and forth.

"You will stop this immediately" Kuno cried while everyone else in the room laughed.

"Yes we will, on to our next act" Ranma said breaking role while Akane took a bow.

Everyone turned to look at the pair. "Nabiki are you really...with Kuno?" Soun wailed. "You defiled my little girl"

"We should leave" Kuno said hotly to Nabiki.

"I want to see where this is leading" Nabiki retorted, feeling that they had a trick in mind for the end. She had a devious mind after all.

"Wonder who they are imitating next?" Ryoga mused, until Ranma walked in dressed like him. While Akane came out dressed like Ukyou in her chef's uniform, wearing a long dark wig with a white bow in it.

"What are you jackasses up to?" Ukyou demanded.

"Sit down and enjoy the show" Ranma answered to reveal his horribly fake vampire teeth. "Hello my name is Ryoga Habiki and I'm lost" he said to Akane.

"So you're lost jackass? I bet you can't find your way into my pants?" Akane said with a little suggestive wiggle to her black clad hips.

"Why how dare you, I'm the strongest man in the world! I can easily take those pants from you" Ranma declared and beat his chest like a gorilla, making everyone laugh.

"Oh but I only put out for Ranma" Akane said.

"Call me Ranma then" Ranma said with a leer and tore Akane's pants off to show boxer shorts, the chef was livid at this. Akane slapped her hands dramatically to her face as he bent her over and humped her through her boxer shorts. Ryoga's alternatively got a hardon, a nosebleed and a permanently blushing face all at the same time. He was too shocked to move as Ranma made pig noises as he and Akane writhed in simulated sex. They stood up, "on to the next act" Ranma said brightly and they scurried off.

"You guys are playing the game too?" Kuno whispered to them, both Ukyou and Ryoga blushed and stammered back.

Akane and Ranma came back, Ranma had unbraided his dark hair so that it lay loose on his back and he wore a white robe, blue pants and fake coke bottle glasses. Akane wore a pink Chinese outfit with a purple wig with bells attached to the two buns she'd made in it.

"Hiya, Shampoo no like you Mousse" Akane said tapping her foot and glancing away from him with a frown.

Ranma dramatically flung himself on the floor and said in a quavering voice "but I love you Shampoo, I'll do anything"

"Anything?" Akane said.

"Yes" Ranma said with conviction in his voice.

"So you pretend to be Ranma for me, yes?" Akane said coyly.

"How could you want me to pretend to be that vile fiend?" Ranma thundered "okay" he added meekly, making people titter. Shampoo or Mousse were blushing and avoiding looking at each other. "Wait a minute; we're one cast member short. Perhaps we could get a volunteer from the audience?" Ranma said breaking role, no one dared offer. "I guess I will just have to pick someone, Kodachi, please join us"

Kodachi stood up nervously and walked to the stage on rubber legs "what do I have to do?" she asked nervously.

"You just have to read these lines after Akane says 'ride me you beast of lust Mousse'" Ranma explained. Kodachi blushed. "Now where were we?" Ranma said to Akane.

"Mousse agree pretend to be Ranma?" she said.

"Of course, anything for you Shampoo" Ranma said in a submissive tone of voice.

"Ride me you beast of lust Mousse" Akane declared.

"Wait a minute, I want a piece of that hot Amazonian stallion to" Kodachi whispered blushing painfully.

"No Mousse is Shampoo's Ranma, you find other horsie to ride" Akane said with a glare at Kodachi.

Ranma pushed up his glasses "I have enough Amazonian love juice for the both of you" he declared. Mousse looked like he wanted to sink into the ground at this statement.

"Oh yes, we share Ranma" Akane cried and ripped her top open to expose a purple bra "take Shampoo" she cried and collapsed on the floor.

"No take me first" Kodachi read and blushed when Ranma squeezed her boobs, this shocked her so much that she didn't resisted when he pushed her down beside Akane. They clutched the blushing girl and rolled around making fake moaning sounds. Kodachi departed blushing.

"Mousse, two girls, what sort of a pervert are you?" Ryoga cried getting hard at the idea.

"Kodachi, you're part of this perversity. How dare you! The blood of kings and queens flows in our veins, what if you became pregnant from...this?" Kuno cried. "No offense intended Mousse" he said to the blushing Chinese martial artist.

"None taken" he muttered back, he didn't know whether to be embarrassed or flattered that everyone knew of his prowess.

"She on the pill like me" Shampoo said in exasperation. "She safe, but not Mousse from her, she nymphomanic. Whatever kings were lusty ones"

"Why how dare you!" Kodachi snapped.

"Come on, we have several more acts to go until the final secret is revealed" Ranma said dramatically and he and Akane rushed to change.

Kasumi gasped when Akane came out in her clothes, while Ranma wore a black gi with the coke bottle glasses again.

"Oh doctor, I'm here for my examination" Akane purred.

"Of course Kasumi, I'll examine every inch of you" he said suggestively. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I've felt really hot lately" Akane said with a giggle and thrust out her chest.

"Yes and you do seem to have some swelling going on" Ranma said with a frown as he looked at her erect nipples.

"Can you cure me?" she said with wide eyes.

Ranma removed his gi, he wore a tutu and a bra and panties underneath "Just call me Dr. Feelgood, or Akane" he said.

Akane removed her dowdy dress so that she was dressed like Ranma "oh Akane what beautiful breasts you have" she purred, removed one of his gym socks and rubbed it on her face to the sound of titters.

"I want you to make love to me" Ranma said in a falsetto voice.

"Your stallion is ready" Akane said lying on the floor, with a squeal of delight Ranma scrambled on top of her and pretended to ride her, a gesture made all the more poignant by the bouncing tutu.

"Not Kasumi to? Tofu you wretch" Soun wailed while Genma patted his back. Dr. Tofu fainted while Kasumi looked down.

"Next act shall be a little older, but no less fun" Ranma said as he and Akane departed to change.

Everyone gaped when they came out. Akane wore a baggy green dress and a long grey wig with red headband. Ranma wore a purple gi and a bald wig with a white fringe at the sides. "I'm Cologne the matriarch of the Chinese Amazon and a horny old board" Akane said sweetly. Cologne's, Shampoo's and Mousse's jaws dropped the disrespect.

"And I'm Happosai, last name unknown, I'm the grand master of the martial arts school of anything goes and a well known lech" Ranma said.

"I like my men a little kinky Happi" she said.

"I like my women with long hair and big eyes, just like you" Ranma said. "I bet you have some pretty panties on under that robe"

"I'm not averse to you checking Ranma" Akane said.

"Oh you want to play that game? Sure Akane" Ranma said and pulled out a jar of honey while Akane stripped to apple green underwear and got on all fours. Ranma drizzled some on her back to lick off while pretending to hump her from behind.

"Ewwww great-grandmother, you with him!" Shampoo said in disgust while Cologne blushed.

"You think that you're the only one who gets to have fun around here? I ought to punish you for what you did with Mousse" Cologne fired back, which caused Mousse to jump in until they were all arguing in Mandarin and making no sense to the rest of the room.

"Master you truly are a pervert" Genma intoned.

"Hey were not done here!" Ranma yelled. "We have two more acts to go" he said and grinning at his father, who gulped. Akane and Ranma ran off to change.

Everyone started laughing when he returned as a panda and held up a sign, "why are you all laughing, haven't you seen a panda before?"

Akane returned in a kimono and red wig in an updo "hello my darling Genma, now that we have the house to ourselves would you like to play a game?"

Ranma turned the sign over "Beauty and the Panda?"

"No how about I pretend to be cousin Ranko and you our son?" she suggested.

Ranma held up another sign "I love it when you get kinky"

"Change into human form" Akane admonished.

Ranma undid his zipper and climbed out of the suit to show that he was dressed as his father underneath, complete with glasses and a pillow stuffed into his gi to make him look fat. Genma didn't look impressed and Nodoka even less.

"Spank me" Akane cried and joyfully writhed in Ranma lap while he pretended to.

"Genma you and Nodoka don't do that do you?" Soun questioned.

"None of your business" he snapped back.

"Ranma stop this at once!" his mother cried. (A/N taking a little poetic license and saying that she knows of his curse)

"It this better?" he asked as Akane pretended to ride him.

"Okay now for our final act. I hope everyone's enjoyed the show so far" Akane said sweetly, they just glared back at her.

This time Akane was dressed in a tight yellow dress with a long brown haired wig. Ranma wore a yellow gi and red belt, with his hair down and a black fake mustache.

"Hi I'm Miss Hinako, I get to be an adult only when I drain students behaving badly. I'm a hypocrite because I cut school to screw my student's father" Akane intoned.

"No it's not true!" Miss Hinako protested.

"Father?" Kasumi said.

"You're one to talk" Soun snapped back with a glowing red face.

"I'm Soun Tendo I own a dojo I never teach at in order to sit around drinking all day long" Ranma said.

"What I do teach!" Soun bristled.

"More like you do our teacher" Akane said facetiously, breaking role for a few seconds.

"Enough of this; come to me Akane" she ordered.

Ranma shoved a pair of balloons into the top of his gi; this was met with some titters. "Of course Ranma" he said in a high falsetto and skipped over to where she was. "Oh Ranma you're such a strong stud" he cried stroking Akane's muscular arms.

"It's time I teach you a lesson" Akane said with a smirk.

"Oh yes you're so strong and brave" Ranma said cupping his hands together and fluttering his eyelashes at her.

"Then come here" Akane said. "I'll give you what you need" Akane took a long balloon and held it in front of her groin while Ranma pretended to suck it. Both moaned loudly while Soun and Miss Hinako blushed. Then Ranma pushed Akane to her knees and pretended to take her while Akane writhed against his.

"We have now reached the conclusion of our play" Ranma announced helping Akane up. "I want each and everyone person here to know that you are all a bunch of perverts. How could any of you actually think that Akane and I would behave like this? It's think that is both sad and sick that you have to pretend to be someone else to get off" he admonished.

"You people are disgusting" Akane announced to the room in general.

"I won't marry any of you" Ranma said.

"But Ran-chan we're engaged" Ukyou protested.

"And you already married Shampoo" Shampoo cried.

"I'm the only girl for you" Kodachi cried.

"Actually you're wrong on all accounts. I'm married to Akane" Ranma said taking her hand.

"What? How" was flung at them.

"Our parents had already signed the consent form after the last failed marriage, we took that in and registered our marriage this morning" Ranma said smugly.

"That's wonderful, our children are finally married" Soun said.

"That schools are united" Genma cried.

"Think again, we're going on a long training trip honeymoon and when we get back, we shall decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives" Ranma said as people protested their marriage.

"No you can't do this to me" Ukyou cried.

"Don't worry Ryoga's still single" he said cruelly.

"But what about Shampoo" Shampoo protested.

"Perhaps Mousse, Kodachi and yourself can have a three way marriage?' Akane suggested, clearly enjoying herself.

"Don't worry. We're taking the costumes with us, you all have had so much fun pretending to be us that we thought we would return the favour" Ranma said giving Akane a devilish leer, which she returned.

They picked up their packs and departed, leaving everyone arguing about whose fault it was.

Ranma and Akane were stunned when they stepped out onto the street; there were tons of people dressed like the two of them. "Welcome to Ranma and Akane Day" a banner read. "Let's get out of here" Ranma declared

Later that night Ranma grinned at his nude wife while they sorted through the costumes. "I like the purple wig" she said.

"You want me to be Mousse then?" Ranma said loosing his braid to allow his own luxurious dark waves to hang down his back. Akane's eyes widened in appreciation, she liked it when Ranma wore his hair down. "Not quite what I had in mind" she said plopping the Shampoo's wig onto Ranma's head; it looked bewitching with his own Chinese clothes.

"How kinky a girl did I marry?" he protested.

"Oh come on, I kind of like girls and Shampoo's awfully cute. Don't you think that Mousse's pretty cute too?" Akane said pulling on a long, dark haired wig.

"No" Ranma stated, but eyed Akane with interest as she looked back at him just as lustfully.

"Just pretend that Mousse fell into the spring of the drowned girl instead" Akane said and pulled Ranma in for his first real kiss with his wife. He moaned when she aggressively thrust her tongue into his mouth.

"Now that we're married Shampoo, I think that you're overdressed" Akane said getting into the dominate role of a being the male, when in fact it was most unlikely that the Amazon himself would ever be so aggressive.

"Oh Mousse, do you think so?" Ranma said and loved the feeling of Akane undoing the frogs on his shirt and slipping her hands inside to explore his rock solid chest. Her small fingers caressing the tender flesh of his taut stomach caused him to shiver. His own fumbling fingers slipped her t-shirt over her hand to leave her wearing only a virginal white bra and her brief shorts. His feverish lips kissed the swelling of her breast tops.

"Oh Shampoo" he moaned against the softest flesh that he'd ever felt. Akane stood back and teasingly unhooked her bra and pushed the straps off to hold it against her. She gave him a sexy smile and let it fall to the ground to show her beautiful medium-sized breasts, she felt empowered pretending to be the bolder Chinese girl. They weren't huge, but firm and topped with cherry coloured nipples. Ranma moaned in appreciation, of all the sights he'd witnessed the day before, Akane standing half naked in the darkness was the sexiest. He drew her to him and laid her on a blanket. His trembling hands removed her shorts and white panties, and then they both made quick work of his pants and boxers. Akane's muscularly feminine body was bathed in moonlight and the stars were reflected in her eyes. She held the martial artist against her trembling body; she enjoyed his body warmth and the solidness of his frame. Ranma had always made her feel so safe...and loved.

She shivered when his lips captured her nipples, his warm lips and tongue played with her stiff peaks until they were like pebbles. "Shampoo please eat me" Akane said pushing his head lower until his lips were inches from her damp folds. Experimentally he traced the outer rim with his tongue, savoring the taste of her delicate pussy lips. Akane moaned when he delved his tongue between them and began lapping at her honeyed core. Deciding he liked the taste, his tongue was soon dancing to the beat of her heated moans until he discovered the places that made her lift her hips into his oral strokes. Finally he caught her clit in between his lips and snaked his tongue on it until she cried out and filled his busy mouth her love juices, which he happily lapped up. Quick as a wink, he settled himself between her legs to claim her virginity and surrender his own to her. Akane cried out as he took her with a firm thrust and held himself still within her while he claimed her lips for a sweet kiss. Something in Akane broke like a promise and she whispered "take me."

Ranma's inexperienced thrusts were tentative at first until Akane caught his rhythm on the downbeat as her pain changed to pleasure. Her pleasure mounted as Ranma found a sweet spot in her and made sure he hit it with each stroke, until she peaked with a sharp cry and dug her fingernails into his back. He grinned and aimed for it again until Akane had three more; on the third, his hot flood joined her own with a grunt. After a brief nap, they got cleaned up and ran back to their costume bag to change into Ukyou and Ryoga. They explored many possibilities and delighted in their new found game of pretending to be someone else.


End file.
